big brother...I'm mortified!

Modern technology, I love it.  New software, applications, phones, Kindles, iPods the lot.  My very good friend and colleague will tell you how I just love to embrace and soak up all this new gadgetry.   But what about the other darker side to it all?  The side where we are watched and monitored daily by the likes of CCTV and…your employer!  Of course their excuse is that it’s all in aid of our safety but I’m not overly convinced. There is most definitely an element of good old fashioned nosiness in it all!

We have all heard the term “Big Brother is Watching You” and how true this is.  There is not a word, website or image that isn’t monitored and registered by someone, somewhere and this became apparent to me last week when I was paid a visit from the I.T technician at work.

Sat at my desk thrashing out my latest project I was pounced on by a friend informing me that the I.T technician was trying to hunt me down with some important news. Oh I thought!  What on earth could that be?  About 40 minutes later he finds me at my desk, his face dons a worried look and I immediately feel apprehensive. 

“Hi, can I have a word” he says quietly scanning the area.

“Sure, what’s up?” I reply.

“It’s about your emails”.  His voice is low and unsteady.

“My emails, what do you mean?” My face starts to scrunch as I mentally go through the emails that I’ve sent that day, that week, that month.

“Well, I’ve had one that’s bounced back because of it’s…err…content” he whispers.

I’m still confused.  I’m thinking hard here.  I haven’t sent anything dodgy.  I certainly haven’t sent anything rude to my beloved on the lower floor (that’s what texts are for!).  In fact I haven’t sent anything vulgar or expletive to anyone and never do.

“I don’t understand, I haven’t sent anything with any content that would have the email bounce back” I plead.

He looks to the floor, “It was to Ann Summers”.  I start to flush as my temperature increases.  I feel guilty and embarrassed even though I know I haven’t done anything.

“Ann Summers!” I exclaim, “No, I think there has been some mistake, I definitely have NOT been emailing Ann Summers”.  And for the record, I certainly would never email them from work.

He suddenly acquires a new found confidence in his tone, “Well we have had an email, sent by you, with the word (dare I say it) ‘Cclliitt’  (just in case!) repeated several times”.  Say it like it is why don’t cha!

My jaw is on the floor.

I see movement behind him as my two colleagues come to see what all the fuss is about. I’m totally speechless and so he reiterates the information to them.  They instantly shape shift into a pair of howling hyenas laughing not only at my blanched dumbstruck expression but at the whole ludicrous situation.  I suddenly remember to draw breath and attempt to find reason.  There is only one explanation, the newsletter.  I start to tell him how when I’d signed up for an account I must have entered my work email address as it was the only one I had at the time but with every intention of changing it when I got a new one. Clearly I’d forgotten.  He looked at me through narrowed eyes obviously working through the scenario in his head.  I go on to say that I never even look at the damn things, I delete them immediately. He contemplating, should he believe me, should he not?  Either way it’s the bloody truth!   He doesn’t move, OMG what should I do?  I say “Right well, there’s only one way to solve his.  I ask him, along with the hyenas to witness as I log onto the Ann Summers website and unsubscribe from the evil newsletter.  My god that thing could get me sacked!!  I’m unsubscribed in a matter of minutes and the I.T technician swans off with satisfied smirk as I’m left mortified and full of fear and loathing.

Let this be a warning to you all my friends, it seems Big Brother really is watching…

Love & kisses

Miss Piggy x